Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Thinks of One Thinking

So i'm here in my dorm, 3:36AM Tuesday morning, and i'm not really doing anything but thinking and praying and sipping on a Dr. Pepper. I have no desire to sleep right now, though it's probably the second best thing on my list that I need to be doing right now, but i'm sitting here evaluating...well...my humanness. Ya know I absolutley hate being human sometimes....making mistakes..old enough to know better and too young to care..stupid choices that seemed okay at the time..the usual. I hate the aspect of humanness where I continually trip and fall over, and moreso the part where I fling myself to the ground only to look back up at where I was and think "what in the world was I thinking." I get tired of the same old mess up and repent actions, but that repentance is what's keeping me going. I know this is just a really rough spot, but i'm getting wore out. I know the beauty of being human is that we have something that the angels desire to look into. We've been given the promise of redemption, salvation, and an advocate with the Father when we have those moments where we fling ourselves to the ground. Well reader, this isn't meant as complaints, though i'm sure it's coming across as that, and I guess subconciously i'm complaining to you about myself, but all i'm asking is that next time you get at the throne and have a chat with Jesus, please remember me and mention me. He knows what's going on and He knows how to fix it. I just need a little support spiritually while i'm down here searching for the Lilly in this Valley. Pray for me, and i'll have you in my prayers too.